JANUARY 2, 2008 3:35 AM
CHARACTERS:
1. KATIE
2. CHARLIE
3. CYNTHIA
4. MONA
5. LEXEE
props: PILLOWS, SLUMBER PARTY ATTIRE, COOKIES, BEVERAGES (H20), CUPS, DRAGON, SLUMBER PARTY BANNER, BLANKETS, STUFFED TOYS, CELLPHONES,POPCORN, BOWL, MAKE UP, FISH BOWL, RAMDOM PIECES OF PAPER, SCRUNCHIES, COMBS, BRUSHES, MAGAZINES, NAIL POLISH
EVERYBODY: WELCOME TO THE SLUMBER PARTY!
Katie: I'm Katie!
Lexee: I'm Lexee!
Mona: I'm Mona!
Cynthia: I'm Cynthia!
(DING DONG)
Mona: Do you hear that bell, Cynthia?
Cynthia: I sure do, Mona!
EVERYBODY: Do you know what that means?!
Lexee: It's time to talk about cute boys?
Katie: No, Lexeekins. It's time for
EVERYBODY: PICK-A-TOPIC-TOPIC-TIME!
Mona: This used to be my fishbowl.
Cynthia: Where's the fish?
Mona: It doesn't matter you silly goose!
Katie: Quit the spaz talk! Let's pick a topic already!
(Drum roll)
[Lexee picks a piece of paper from the stack in the bowl]
Lexee: BEOWULF VERSUS DRAGON?!
Cynthia: Like, O-M-G! That was our school play last year and their Beowulf was so hot!
Mona: Hmm, I only got to the Beowulf versus Grendel's Mother part.
Katie: What's a Beowulf?
Lexee: Does it involve dogs? Because I love dogs!
Cynthia: No! No! No! I'll tell the story; of course, since our topic's BEOWULF versus DRAGON. I'll start there. Beowulf is old already after some years. Then some peasant thief stole a gold cup from an unnamed dragon. The dragon totally went nuts and terrorized Beowulf's kingdom. Too bad, Beowulf's army fled the battle field like chickens running for their lives escaping a free dinner at KFC. But luckily, a handsome Swedish boy named Wiglaf came to help Beowulf. (Starry eyes)
Lexee: Cynthia, you okay? (tries to get her back by snapping)
Cynthia: Oh! Yeah, Beowulf dies from battle booboos along with the Dragon. The end!
Katie: Ooh! Ooh! I know there’s also a movie version, right!?
Cynthia: That’s right, Katie!
Lexee: AH! That Beowulf! L-O-L! I so watched the movie with Fred when we first kissed! (giggles) I wanna tell this part! (raises hand frantically)
Mona: (incoming cellphone text) Look! Look! It’s Cara! She says hello to everybody! We should invite her in our next slumber party! Even though I think she’s kind of a nerd.
Lexee: Mona! (lightly punches her shoulder) Okay, as I was saying
Katie: I hear something, girls. [Everybody is startled]
[Somebody bangs on the door]
Cynthia: Oh, someone’s at the door.
[Lights flicker on and off]
Mona: Katie, I’m scared!
[Dragon noises, then girls scream]
(Everybody goes into a group hug)
Katie: I’m too pretty and ultra popular to die!
Cynthia: I’m still looking for my true love’s kiss!
Mona: Lexee! I’ve always had a teeny-weeny crush on you!
Lexee: Really?! WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY EARLIER?!
(A dragon barges in the room, lights flicker, dragon roar)
[girls scream]
Lexee: [stops screaming, fixes light, stands in front of the dragon waiting]
[Fading dragon roars turns into a bad dragon roar imitation]
CHARLIE! Have you nothing better to do when my friends are here?
Charlie: Hehe, I never knew you played the dragon last year.
Lexee: Give me that! Okay, enough interruptions! I’ll start the story. After a sip of water gals!
Charlie: A toast to girlhood! (Raises cup)
Everybody: A toast to girlhood! (Raises cups and drinks up)
Lexee: Babes, anyway keep in mind in the movie. Grendel’s mother doesn’t die and he promised Beowulf if he gives her a son, she will give hunkalicious Beowulf power and fortune. And as long as she has the golden dragon in her safe keeping, she won’t terrorize the kingdom.
Mona: So, like, Beowulf and Momma Monster did it?
Katie, Cynthia, Charlie: EW!
[Treats Charlie as one of the group]
Cynthia: What was that again? Grendel’s mom doesn’t die.
Katie: She promised Beowulf power and fortune if he gives her a son.
Mona: And as long as the golden dragon horn is with Momma Monster, she will leave his kingdom in peace.
Lexee: Oooh! You guys were listening! Everybody gets a cookie!
[brings out plate of cookies, everyone except Lexee grabs one]
Okay, Beowulf’s old already and they were going to have a party so everybody’s like hailing Beowulf. Then king Beowulf’s advisor, Unferth, gave the king back his gold dragon horn which his servant stole.
Cynthia: So like, instead of a cup; it’s a horn?
Lexee: Yuhuh! Beowulf was furious when he saw the horn not with Momma Monster.
Charlie: A.k.a. Angelina Jolie, she was all gold and smexy in the movie!
Lexee: Nicely said Charlie, not! Anyway, that night a dragon vomiting balls of fire killed Unferth’s family leaving a message-
Charlie: THE SINS OF THE FATHERS! THE SINS OF THE FATHERS!
Lexee: (lightly bonks Charlie on the head) Thank you for interrupting!
Charlie: Any time
Lexee: Then Beowulf had a dream of a gold man threatening to kill his queen, Wealtheow. Then the following day, Wiglaf rode with Beowulf to Momma Monster’s lair where he returned the dragon horn.
Katie: Why does Beowulf always go alone in his adventures? He thinks he’s so macho but he’s really putting his life in more danger and a step closer to Satan’s welcome party.
Mona: Yeah, tell me about it.
Lexee: Then Momma Monster says it’s too late then the dragon jumps out of no where attacking Beowulf and Wiglaf as it targeted Queen Wealtheow. So Beowulf needed to kill the dragon,
Cynthia: And he remembered King Hrothgar who totally committed suicide after bringing back Grendel’s big ugly head. That the only way to kill a dragon is by stabbing the area under the throat; that’s where the dragon builds up fire.
Charlie: He’s so suicidal.
Lexee: Going back to the lovely Lexee, Beowulf single-handedly kills the dragon and they both land on the sea shore. Then the dragon totally morphs into the totally hunky gold guy in Beowulf’s dream.
Katie: Since Momma Monster and the gold guy are both gold, are they mother and son?
Lexee: Very good! You catch on quick, Katie! Yeah, Beowulf dies then the last scene, Wiglaf is caught with the gold dragon horn by the sea shore with the hot Momma Monster.
Mona: I so hope he doesn’t make the same mistake again. That would be so uncool if he fell for that devilish seductress.
(Lexee and Mona do eye contact)
- optional
Cynthia: Dudettes! Get a room!
Charlie: Yeah, I’m still here!
(Mona sticks tongue out)
Mona: Did you know that in the movie, Beowulf had a bed warmer?
Katie: I didn’t know they were high-tech back then.
Lexee: You know, a bed warmer, by the name of Ursula.
Katie: It’s not like I have anything against naming your gadgets but you know.
Lexee: Not that kind of-
Cynthia: Forget it! She’s never gonna get it!
Charlie: It’s kind of sad that none of them had any children to be their heir.
Mona: Yeah, we’re lucky to have family.
- optional
Katie: And that was
Charlie, Katie, Cynthia: THE SLUMBER PARTY!
Cynthia: Okay, okay let’s break up guys; and break up into some dancing.
(party music, everybody dances)
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